The Dumbest Thing I Have Ever Read

OK, maybe not dumbest... "most oblivious" might be the best description.

DougJ over at BJ made reference to this blog making fun of Ayn Rand (remind me sometime to tell you about my Ayn Rand sitcom idea, starring Jim Parsons from Big Bang Theory). In the comments to the post Doug specifically mentioned, I found this comment:

I can see your guys' points. The girl I recommended Atlas to suffers from very low self-esteem and passive acceptance of abuse from those around her. I figured it'd be a good read and an inspiration to start making some positive changes - especially since the main character is a female.

Yes, you read that correctly. Some Rand fan recommended Atlas Shrugged to a woman that he claimed to like, who he thought has major self-esteem issues (although if you read the whole thread, poor Jay seems to have a massive white knight complex so that's probably redundant), because he thought Dagny Taggert might be a role model for her.

There are not enough heads and not enough hands in the entire universe to adequately facepalm that one.

The Saddest Scandal in the World

Italy's version of a political scandal involves the governing coalition collapsing because the prime minister was caught partying with a prostitute.

Canada's version of a political scandal involves somebody in the military vandalizing a wiki page.

Anybody who claims this isn't the most boring country on the planet is a liar.

If the Left Were As Dishonest As the Right

Then you'd see articles on HuffPo about this case declaring that "Right-wing activist judges want to arm criminals!"

Jed, over at the GOS, would create a video hatchet job attacking Justice Marilyn Kelly, tenuously linking her to the NRA (which would be portrayed as slightly more crazy than Michael Moore tried to make them look in Fahrenheit 911) and making it look like she said she wanted more black babies to die during a speech she gave in 2002.

And MSNBC's prime time lineup would be all over the Michigan decision. Olbermann would deliver a stern lecture full of righteous indignation over it, while Maddow would ask some pointed questions about militia activity in Michigan, and how many militia members are convicted felons. She wouldn't attempt to answer those questions, mind you - she'd just ask them.

Funny how none of that seems to happen.

Speaking of Opening Gates

Guillermo might be back on At the Mountains of Madness, this time with James Cameron producing.

Geekgasm doesn't begin to describe the level of anticipation that would accompany such a project. del Toro "gets" Lovecraft; combining his storytelling gifts with Cameron-esque mountainous Antarctic visuals could not only be a match made in heavenhell, it could also be potent enough at the box office to 'mainstream' Lovecraft in a way that's never been done before.

Which, y'know, might not be such a great thing in the long run (Stephen Sommers' Call of Cthulhu, anyone?) but I'm willing to risk it.

My Mouth Writing Cheques My... Err... Mouth Has To Cash

So last night at Neutral, I was in a mood. Didn't really feel like singing any of the stuff I've been trying out recently, didn't really feel like hitting up the cuties to see what they wanted to hear... instead I just opened the book to a random page and picked something on it out of the blue.

That led me to See Emily Play, and Freeze-Frame (I mean, really. Why would anyone sane do a J. Geils Band song that wasn't Centerfold?). At that point somebody who'd just walked in asked me what I was singing. "Random shit", I said.

That of course led to us riffing on a song with the title Random Shit, which led to me speculating it was probably some nu metal joint, which led to me singing a line from said hypothetical bit of thrash trash which sounded vaguely Korn-ish.

Which, naturally, led to me singing an actual Korn song (Freak On a Leash) for the first time ever in my karaoke career.

The scary part was, I pulled it off. I screwed up the "some things they fight" section at first before I got my bearings in it, and my boom da pa doom's were pretty ragged, but I'll be damned if it didn't sound, at worst, credible.

Jeebus. What the hell have I become? The time may be coming when I sing Korn, Ke$ha, Steely Dan and Sam Cooke all on the same night. I'm worried I might inadvertently open the dimensional gates and wake Great Cthulhu with my song choices; maybe "when the stars are right" is referring to pop stars, not the celestial kind.

Ia! Ia! Cthulhu Fagen Becker!

Orin Lays the Smacketh Down

I don't hit up the Volokh Conspiracy for first-class bitch slappings, but that's what I got today when Orin Kerr gave his first thoughts on the Arizona immigration law being (mostly) tossed in the bin:

Anyway, sorry I can’t be more helpful in evaluating the correctness of the decision: You’d really need to know a lot more about preemption law and federal immigration law to speak on that with any authority.

Dayumn. Shorter Orin: Any blogger or pundit telling you what the decision "means" is full of shit.

What Rhymes With 'Shourd'?

So I read this piece about the American hikers still in Iranian custody, against the backdrop of a possible concerted campaign to get the US involved in a war against Iran, and the first thing that pops into my head is this:



Willie's probably out, though. Maybe Toby Keith can whip something up instead.

Fair(-Skinned) and Balanced

1.38% of Fox News' viewers are African-American. Actually, that should probably just be 'black' instead of African-American as it likely includes an international audience.

In raw terms, that's 29,000 black viewers in prime time per night, on average, out of 2.1 million actual FoxNews viewers, and however many millions of potential Fox viewers.

That's unbelievably low. To put it in a different perspective: the Seattle Mariners, who still have a shot at finishing with the worst record in baseball, are drawing an average of 27,759 fans a night.

The average black prime time audience for Fox News is about the same size as the average crowd for a Mariners game. And the Mariners have sucked donkey scrotum this season.

The Great Debate Resolved

For years now, one argument has nearly torn the country apart: which theory of time travel is more accurate, the Back To the Future theory, or the Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure theory?

Quantum physicists at MIT have now waded into the fray, and firmly backed the Bill and Ted's theory. Cause and effect are not linear, and an effect in a quantum particle can be designed so that it could only have had one cause - or, as Dr. Low from the U of Bristol clumsily puts it, "You could think of it as postselection affecting the history of the particle, sending the state back in time."

Or, you could think of it like this:

Bill: If only we could go back to two days ago before your dad lost his keys, and steal them.
Ted: Well, why don't we?
Bill: Cuz we don't have time, dude.
Ted: We could do it after the report.
Bill: Oh yeah! Where should we put 'em?
Ted: How 'bout behind this sign?
Bill: Ok. Woah! It worked! Right, so when we're done with the report, we have to remember to do this or else it won't happen. Except it did happen! Ted, it was you who stole your dad's keys!

R.O.U.S.'s!

Apparently, the Fire Swamp is actually Pliocene East Timor.

Hmm. I wonder if that opens up Princess Bride to a textual interpretation as a Chomskian critique of American imperialism? I mean, his name is Westley, for pity's sake. It's all so obvious now.

Sometimes, the Jokes Write Themselves

Kings of Leon cut short a St. Louis gig after they get shat on by pigeons.

Swan Dive!... Into Sillyville

Sully goes off the deep end about JournoList, apparently because they didn't have his back on Trig.

If Sully, or bratty Tucker, or anybody wants to make a case that the list dictated liberal media talking points, then they'll need to produce some sort of evidence that there would be repercussions if someone bucked the party line. We know what happens when a Frum or a Bartlett or a Sullivan breaks away from their herd.

You can't make a reasonable case for lock-step orthodoxy when there's no downside to being a heretic. It's nonsense.

No Class, No Shame, No Brains

More and more, the conservative movement becomes indistinguishable from a ratfucking operation designed to destroy the conservative movement.

(via BJ, via Yggy, ad nauseum)