Dere Doin It Rong

In Canada, "conservative" apparently means a group of people willing to cancel proposed tax cuts in an effort to up government revenue and decrease the deficit.

"We will stop the reckless tax reductions that go far beyond what we can afford or are targeted on the wrong direction," Tory leader David Alward said Friday.

The tax cuts were passed by the current Liberal government.

Liberal Greg Byrne called Alward's promise "erratic" and said cancelling the legislated tax reductions could threaten investment in the province.

"When you talk to the CEOs, they look at what's happening in New Brunswick," Byrne said. "They're paying attention. They compare provinces, they compare the level of taxation."

But when reporters asked Byrne how the economic spinoff from lower taxes would bring down the deficit he wouldn't say.

He said the Liberal deficit-reduction plan could include spending cuts in areas other than health, seniors and education.

But he wouldn't name a department or program that might see its funding slashed.

Just to recap: the Liberal Party in New Brunswick is the one wanting to cut corporate tax rates and making vague promises to cut government spending and reduce the deficit without even trying to provide specifics, while the Progressive Conservatives are the ones pledging higher corporate tax rates aimed directly at deficit reduction.

Seriously, it's like Bizarro World up here.

Dumbass of the Day

Sun Media's Jim Slotek, in trying to be all contrary and actually defend Piranha 3D as a horror movie, describes Steven R. McQueen as "tow-headed".

"Tow-headed" means light blonde hair, dumbass, as in "When I was growing up in Knoxville I was such a tow-headed little cracker." McQueen's got dark hair. The daughter was tow-headed, sure. The younger son, ehh, borderline - he was more dirty, sandy blonde. Jake? Not even close.


UPDATE: Slotek apologized in an email. On behalf of all the tow-headed and formerly tow-headed peoples of the earth, I accept.


Heh heh. A-heh heheheheheh.

- Miike!!!! Takashi does a samurai film, this one called 13 Assassins about a group of ronin hired to kill a despotic lord. I expect to see blood. Lots and lots of blood.

- The Strange Case of Angelica is the latest from Manoel de Oliveira, who is 101 freakin' years old. It actually sounds decent too, about a photographer who falls in love with a dead girl who comes to life in his viewfinder.

- the Thai Palme d'Or winner, Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives, graces our shores. It'll either be beautiful, or an incoherent mess.

- Tsui Hark brings Doctor Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame, with Andy Lau playing the Tang Dynasty equivalent of Sherlock Holmes.

Going Viral In 3... 2... 1...

I'll add in the clip in the morning, but John Stewart eviscerated Fox News tonight. Eviscerated them. "Hoist on their own petard" is a woefully inadequate expression for the massive amount of self-inflicted pain he rained down on their heads in his opening segment.

The follow-up with Oliver and Cenac was good too, but it lacked an obvious killshot - that "evil" is the only possible answer, because they know that the bulk of their audience is too stupid to ask questions about the gaps they're leaving in their fear-mongering.

: Apparently, the Comedy Network doesn't believe in embed codes anymore. Morons.

Hmm, Never Seen That Before

So, for no discernible reason, I ended up seeing Piranha 3D tonight.

The gore effects are the typically, wildly over-the-top stuff you'd expect from Alejandro Aja. Plenty of well-chewed bodies and severed limbs floating in the water and well as some ridiculous shots like two piranha fighting over Jerry O'Connell's floating penis. (In 3D!) The dialogue is as bad as you'd expect, Richard Dreyfuss' cameo is as pointless as you'd expect, Kelly Brook gets as naked as you'd expect... really, for the most part, it delivers most of what you thought you were getting when you walked in the theater.

What the film doesn't have, though, is an ending.

Now don't get me wrong, it's not that Piranha has a bad ending. Nor do I mean that it just abruptly cuts to black and no credits roll, leaving the audience confused as to what's going on.

What I mean is that, if you broke down the script in normal screenwriting terms, the film gets to the point that would be the end of the second act/beginning of the third act (when the hero has gained new knowledge both about themselves and the threat they face) -- and then the credits roll. It would be as if Aliens ended with Ripley flaming the eggs right in front of the queen, scooping up Newt and making a break for it.

If I had any respect for Aja at all, I'd say it was a brilliant subversion of genre convention. But I don't. (I thought Haute Tension kinda sucked, the less said about his Hills Have Eyes remake the better, and Mirrors was just ugh.) Instead it feels like he ran out of money and/or just got bored after doing the big attack & effects sequence he wanted to do, and so he didn't bother even finishing the story.

At best, it's the clumsiest attempt to leave a horror movie open for a sequel in history. At worst, it's one of the most incompetent film making decisions I've ever seen.