Sammi Sweetheart Is Gonna Be Soooo Jealous

Apparently, I missed the single stupidest political scandal evah when it broke a couple of days ago.

At least it seems stupid on the surface, but dig a little deeper. What possible motive could Obama have for denying that he even knows who Snooki is... unless...

OMFG OBAMA IS HAVING AN ILLICIT MISCEGENATION WITH SNOOKI!!!!11!!1!eleventyone!

That's right, the only logical conclusion that can possibly be drawn from this earth-shaking scandal is that Obama and Snooki have been secretly doin' the nasty.

Congress can't ignore this any longer! Impeachment proceedings MUST begin immediately!

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