Also, I did pick up Martyrs and watched it again.
Two-thirds of the way through I had my knees pulled up to my chest, tears streaming down my face, and I was asking myself why the fuck I was putting myself through it again. Yes, it's that powerful.
If you're wondering what precise part of the film prompted that reaction, it was the moment when Anna drapes the black towel over the woman in the bathtub's head to shield her eyes from the light, and for that second it looked like a black hood.
I had a similar reaction to the bus scene last time I saw Children of Men.
Like I said, my head is full of little else right now. I am having a very hard time grappling with the fact that these atrocities were committed in my name, by my government.
I feel complicit.