Kiss Louisiana Goodbye

BP is getting so desperate for ideas on how to stop oil from continuing to gush into the Gulf that they're resorting to stealing plot twists from Seinfeld episodes:

BP Plc plans to have a second dome in place within three days to try and contain oil that’s been leaking from a Gulf of Mexico well since last month, the company’s chief executive officer said.

The structure will be smaller than the containment system that failed to work last week, Tony Hayward told reporters at a press conference today in Houston. The second dome may be operating by the end of the week, Kent Wells, senior vice president of exploration and production, said during the press conference.

A first effort to capture oil near the seafloor and direct it to the surface failed on May 8. The company is also within two weeks of an attempt to shoot tire pieces, golf balls and other rubber items into the top of the well to plug it, Hayward said.

When that doesn't work, further backup plans include a giant wine cork, a device to create a 'counter-geyser' fueled by Diet Coke and Mentos, and breeding a new species of sea slug that eats oil and poops out gold.

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