TIFF Review: Bitch Slap

Bitch Slap (2009, directed by Rick Jacobson)

Reviews of movies like this are basically pointless, but what the hell.

A mostly successful attempt to drag Russ Meyer-style exploitation films into the 21st century, Bitch Slap is a blast for anyone who likes boobies... err, I mean anyone who likes to see hot women blow shit up and beat the crap out of each other.

The plot is a ridiculous mishmash of elements from every other movie you've ever seen in your entire life with the possible exception of Last Year in Marienbad. Three hot women (the mysterious Hel, the ditzy stripper Trixie, and the loose cannon Camero) have kidnapped local underworld scumfuck Gage and dragged him out to the desert to try and beat the location of his legendary stash of diamonds out of him. As the mayhem (and lesbian sex) escalates a series of flashbacks start falling like dominoes, explaining how each of the ladies got there. And looming over it all is the sinister figure of Pinky, Gage's Keyser Soze-like boss who seems to be one step ahead of them at every turn.

I have to admit I was a little worried when the film started. The script has trouble deciding whether it's going to play things as campy tongue in cheek or go balls to the wall, and while America Olivo is ridiculously, hilariously over-the-top as Camero the other girls have it pulled in a little more, which is a bit jarring.

Then, around about the time Camero kills Gage and Deputy Fuchs shows up, the switch gets thrown all the way into balls to the wall territory, and the movie takes off on a jolt of adrenaline and lust that it rides straight through to the end.

Look, Bitch Slap isn't going to win any awards. It isn't going to revolutionize anything. Hell, the green screen effects in the flashbacks are so deliberately phony-looking they at times seem like the biggest budget David Hasselhoff video ever.

But in terms of providing an audience with big stupid sexy fun, Bitch Slap is miles better than most of Hollywood's recent attempts at big stupid sexy fun. And that's really all that matters.

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